Wednesday, February 3, 2010

My Birthday Girl

What a wild ride these past two years have been. I'm not gonna lie, it's been about a thousand times harder than we ever imagined. From the first moment we found out that we were going to have a lil'bub, our hearts were bursting with so much love and happiness. I keenly remember the moment I heard her and the second I saw her for the first time, that I was just completely overwhelmed with love. But I think that I am ready to admit that day and the following week was one of the hardest and worst of my life. Not because of her. It was because instead of getting to hold her in my arms, bond with her, nurse her and share her with friends and family, she started having seizures. And so they sent her away to a different hospital for tests, terrifying us all, and leaving me to recover from a C-section in a maternity ward, with no baby. Believe me, it was beyooond traumatizing.

When I finally did make it over to see her, and hold her in my arms, it was absolutely amazing. But I don't have those photos that typical moms have, with ear-to-ear grins, and healthy pink babies peeking from behind swaddled blankets.

In the photos I have, anyone can read the seriousness on my face. I can see the adoration and instant love too, but I also see all the uncertainty and fear. It would be another day or so before the doctors announced their findings. The things they told us were devastating... moments that still haunt me at night. But nothing they initially said prepared us for the later news that our week old baby would need major brain surgery-- or else she wasn't going to make it. Such a shocking statement. SO even though we had to sign the papers for them to operate, it wasn't really a choice. There were no other options. And so we walked blindly into this impossible situation, desperately clinging to the hope that she would hang on, get better, and in the best possible world that she would celebrate all the birthdays that she should.

I guess that was sort of the long way of explaining that our greatest hopes and dreams are fulfilled when lil'bub celebrates a birthday. Like they were on Saturday, when we had a fantastic farm animal party for our now TWO year old, who still improves every single day. She was not overwhelmed by all the people, as we had expected, but bounced and smiled and giggled and charmed her guests, like a true birthday girl should. Here is a PARADE of photos...

first thing birthday morning

she spots the birthday balloons!

our welcoming wreath

my little piggy (and the photo on the wreath)

I got crafty and made her a birthday banner

then I got even craftier and made a fun centerpiece

family photo :)

farm food table!

little party animals

more cute little party animals...and
me making a weird face

daddy birthday kisses

about to cut the cake

close-up of cutest cake EVER!!!

enjoying the cake

Aunt Mindy and Mary Kate liked the cake too

opened tons of fun presents

Avery and Nana matched!

playing with new toys of course :)
she really loves her new walkin, talkin kitty

standing birthday girl

Whew! That was a lot of photos. She really can't help being so photogenic can she? Perhaps it has something to do with the millions of photos we take. OK, that's all for now folks :)


  1. Cass, Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl!!! LOVE all the pictures. Your post had me in tears. Her cake IS the cutest thing ever, almost as cute as the B-day girl. She is so happy and adorable, just look at her!

  2. Hi, Cassie,
    I always look forward to reading your blog. The pictures are wonderful -- what a lovely birthday party!


  3. She was a cute Birthday girl and her giggles made everyone smile. So glad to be there and see it!

    We love you guys!


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