Being A Mom Is

Thrilling. Magical. Terrifying. Heartbreaking. Messy. Overwhelming. Beautiful. Fulfilling. Gut wrenching. Loud. Joyful. All of these things and so much more, changing constantly from one thing to the next. From wondering how I ever lived without these little people dancing around my feet to wondering how I was ever crazy enough to start a family. 

This Mother's Day has been even more special to me because of the "Happy Mom's Day" greetings I've been hearing from my little Maddie. It sounds like such a small thing, but hearing it come out of her mouth, and getting the hugs and sweet kisses really makes my day. Six years of being a mom and these little things still feel somewhat foreign... because my firstborn hasn't ever been able to express herself like her little sister can now. Of course, I parent these girls because I love them to the moon and back, not because I want or need constant affirmation. And it's not to say that Avery doesn't express herself in other ways, but it sure is different to hear the words. It does hit hard, when suddenly I hear exactly what I've been missing. 

There is not a day that goes by that I am not wondering what she is thinking and feeling and wants me to know. Her teachers at school are still working on communication devices and her speech therapist is still working on jaw strength. We all see that there is a lot going on in that pretty head and Avery grows more and more frustrated to get it out. We won't give up! 

I think a lot about the summer of 2009 when she was one and a half, and much to her daddy's and my delight, started mimicking "ma-ma" and "da-da." Hearing her make these kinds of sounds was something we thought would be a lot farther in the future. I can't even explain how exciting it was to hear. In the video below, you can see how proud I am, and how proud she is of herself! A couple of months later she stopped making these sounds, and we haven't heard them consistently, or been able to get back to mimicking since. We know she has the capacity because she proved it. We've just got to keep working. I'm looking forward to a Mother's Day in the future where both my girls can say "mom." It's something I won't ever take for granted.